You’ve Got to be Kidding Me!

It has been quite a long time since I have written. I wanted to keep up a steady stream of posts, but life got in the way. I figured I would start posting again partly because it helps to get out some frustrations, but also because reading others’ comments and posts helps me immensely.
I recently attempted to obtain my CDL in order to drive a school bus. I was quite excited about the prospect and it took a lot of hoop-jumping to take my permit test. I passed, with flying colors! But, my application for my permit was put on hold due to medical paperwork. My doctors had to fill out three forms stating what conditions I had (Fibro, etc.), the medications I am taking, and if he thought these medications would interfere with my ability to drive a commercial vehicle. Well, guess what? Even after a week of classroom training, 2 drug tests, a physical, and a tank and a half of gas (driving around for all this paperwork), I can’t continue or receive my permit because of my Tramadol! The one medication I am unwilling to give up because of how much it helps me is preventing me from obtaining a better-paying job. Just another hiccup, but another reason why I need to try and accept what I have because… it is going to affect everything!!!
I don’t take Tramadol every day. Actually I take it about 3 times a week. That is not a lot by any means. I am aware that I am lucky in that respect, but taking only 3 pills a week is not because I’m not in pain. It is because I don’t want my body to become accustomed to the medication and because I feel like I can do anything on it (maybe this is why I am not allowed to drive a school bus 😉 “Oh yeah, of course I can lift this bus off the train tracks! I can do anything. I am Tramadol Girl!”
Anyway, it has been quite a struggle to accept I have a disability. I still haven’t ever said that word out loud. I feel I am normal and just have my times when I am “sick”. I get frustrated very easily and constantly wonder why I can’t…
-Go out for drinks after working 8 hours
-Go shopping all day
-Lift boxes, climb ladders, and basically put my body through hell and NOT have to pay for it the next day
-Shovel the driveway without worrying about the pain I’ll be in

I would like to keep up with my posts and continue to write more. Please comment or ask questions. Writing about the daily stresses of having Fibro helps me and others like me. I had someone ask me if there is a surgery for Fibro. I said “I wish”, but I actually just wish there was a clear cut and answer as to why, then we can talk about possible “cures”.

How I Manage a 40-Hour Work Week

Singing Tramadol’s Praises

I don’t know what I would do without my pain medication. I have worked the past 3 nights in a row (2 until 9:30 and tonight until 6:45). I normally work mornings from 7-3. This schedule change has taken a toll on my body and my Fibro. I also have to work another night shift tomorrow. It does help slightly that I can “sleep in,” but I don’t and can’t sleep past 7:30. That is “sleeping in” for me.

Anyway, today I had to work 10 hours. I had no idea how I was going to pull this off without a miracle. I have a hard time with 8 hour days, don’t even talk about adding 2+ hours to that. It was about noon (went in at 8:30am) when I realized I was in severe pain and wasn’t sure I could keep working. I mean working in general, not just today. I ached worse than I have in a while. I was freezing and absolutely exhausted and very irritable. I texted my husband to let him know I wasn’t sure I could do this anymore. Mind you, we are closing on a house in 2 weeks. Needless to say he was a little nervous. About 20 minutes later I reached in my pocket for a pen and realized I hadn’t taken my Tramadol. Duh! No wonder I was in so much pain. I hadn’t taken my magic pain killers.

Tramadol is a drug I had never heard of until my rheumatologist prescribed it to help with my Fibro pain. I took it and still do, only when needed. Basically, that is once or twice a day when I work. Lately, I have come to realize how much this medication helps me live a semi-normal life. It is like a breath of fresh air. You can literally see the pain leave my face. When I am flaring I am pale, clammy, I have dark circles under my eyes, smiling is damn near impossible, and all I want to do is lay down. I certainly don’t want to talk to anyone, especially my customers (who I enjoy talking to otherwise). Once I take my Tramadol the change in my body and in my face is almost immediate. I am a whole different person.

I could not work if it weren’t for Tramadol. There is no way. Working 40 hours a week is necessary for my family to keep living the lifestyle we have (which is by no means extravagant). And, like I said, we are buying a house, so quitting or going part-time is not an option.

I do worry because sometimes Tramadol makes me feel like I can do anything (lift boxes, climb ladders, basically over-exert myself). With Tramadol and other coping methods I can do all this, in moderation, but I tend to over-do thing much more often than I should since I have learned a lot about living with Fibromyalgia. One lesson being, I have a condition which makes it hard for me to do physical activities. Even if I look like I can do it (and most of the time I can) it’s the after-effect that kills a Fibro sufferer. I am a stubborn person and if there is no one around to help me I will lift that 40lb box and pull that 200lb pallet. I know I shouldn’t, but learning to ask for help is much more difficult than it seems (that’s another post).

I would recommend Tramadol to anyone with Fibro. Try it. The worst that could happen is that it doesn’t work and you move on to something else. It is worth a shot. Believe me, if all I have to do is take a small pill every day, do yoga regularly and keep my sugar and sugar-substitute habit in check to help ease my symptoms, I am happy do all three.

Time for a restful nights sleep. 😉